August 7, 2009
Let’s Talk About Sex!
10 Tips For Talking To Your Parents About Sex
- Know your stuff – let them see you are ready by showing them you have done your homework and are going to act responsibly.
- Know your reasons – know why you feel you are ready to have sex and what your reasons are; they will ask, and if you can’t answer maybe you aren’t as ready as you thought!
- Be prepared for a negative reaction – it is very hard to see your child ready to be intimate with someone, accept your parents displeasure or anger since it is valid, and be prepared to live with it.
- Don’t flaunt it in their faces – your descison to have sex shouldn’t be a weapon designed to hurt your parents or “put them in their place” while you assert independence, if you are trying to upset them you are having sex for the wrong reasons!
- Be calm and polite – this won’t be easy for them, even if they are the most liberal parents in the world, if you come out “gangbusters” it will make them react rather than listen.
- Talk about birth control and safer sex – I can’t explain the horror I felt when my mother asked me about this; spare yourself the shock and bring it up first, it will show that you are thinking about what you are doing which is always a good thing.
- Don’t sugar coat it – if you want to talk about birth control options, do it; if you want to have sex but aren’t sure you are in love, speak up; if you think it is none of their business and are telling them as a courtesy, make it known. This is not a time to hide how you feel.
- Be truthful – it is really easy to chicken out and tell your parents what you think they can handle rather than what is true – this is a short term fix and is bound to cause blow ups in the future.
- Tell them what a great job they have done – let them know that you value their opinions and are aware of their feelings on the matter (and I hope you are). Tell them that the reason you can come to them about this rather than hiding it is because they have done a good job at earning your trust. Even if your choice goes against values you know they have, make sure you tell them you respect their feelings.
- LISTEN – listen to your parents, they do have experience in this matter (you’re here aren’t you?) and are an invaluable resource, even if you may not like what they say. More importantly, listen to yourself as you talk to them – if anything you hear yourself say sounds wrong when spoken out loud you may want to take a second look at your decision.